Debating the Future

There comes a time when we all reach a crossroad.  I am at one now. I love attending college, but my body is making it difficult.  I am considering completing my degree at on online university. I enjoy going to classes, but it takes so much out of me. I think I need to do what is best for me and complete my degree with American Public University.  I can get my degree in English and then my masters in Humanities which is what I wanted to begin with.  I love humanities. It is the examination of art, writing, history and philsophy all rolled into one. I think this is for me.  I would not have to travel 40 miles every day just to get to class.  I would not have to sit in horribly uncomfortable desk and listen to a lecture for an hour in each class, taking notes the entire time and unable to listen like I enjoy doing.  With my arthritis it is hard to keep up and I miss a lot.  I think this will give me a chance to really explore more of what I am looking for. Plus it will in the long run be less expensive for me. Driving 40 miles plus having to pay for parking adds up to about $40 a week plus food.  At UNF, the extra fees charged cause the classess to end up costing more than the online class. I think it is time to change directions and make the turn that would benefit me more.  I will miss the classes, but I need to do this. 

Photographs and Memories

For the past few weeks, I have been hooked on facebook.  It's not the games I am hooked on, but a group dedicated to the area I grew up in. I am from the Mississippi Gulf Coast.  My little town on the back bay of Biloxi called d'Iberville was pretty much wiped off the map by Katrina.  When I joined this group, I didn't know what to expect, but it has been an emotional experience that is hard to describe. I joined this group a couple of weeks ago and it had about 700 members.  It has bloomed to over 1200 and each and every person has a photograph or memory to share of our beloved Gulf Coast.  Places we grew up with, places that are no longer there, people and culture of the life we grew up with all stirring up emotions of a time we all miss. Many of us sharing memories of the same places that we loved and miss dearly.  It was a time when life was simple and magical. Our beautiful coast was destroyed by a couple of hurricanes, the first called Camille that roared ashore in 1969 and wiped out so much.  Rebuilding was done, but so much was lost.  Then came Katrina. She took away almost everything else that Camille had left. This group seems to have given our memories back to us. So many things I had forgot about were brought back to life for me. I have reconnected with friends and cousins who I have not talked to in years and discovered new relatives that I never knew.  I would like to thank all the members of this group for all the photograph and memories and look forward
to sharing the our life on the Gulf Coast with the world.  Hope you join us in all our memories. Find us on facebook at 
http://www.facebook.com/#!/home.php?sk=group_196962713664083&ap=1

"Old MS Gulf Coast Hwy 90" Do you remember?

The passing of the old and the birth of the new

I sit and watch the clock tick the minutes off of the clock.  With each tick another tear drops.  The mouring of a two great ladies, my aunt and my daughter-in-laws great grandmother, who are soon to leave this life, the excitement of expectation of a new life soon to be born, the leaving of a child to find a new life of her own, has left me in so much pain.  Worried about the birth, the deaths and the leaving has put me on the brink of losing control of everything. I can't think.  I can't stop crying.  My Aunt is the last of my mom's brothers and sisters, all my Aunt's and Uncles of both of my parents will soon be gone and the last of a connection directly to them.  It feels as if I am losing them all over again.  I can't stop thinking about my mom and so wish I was there when she died.  I wish I could have held her one last time and said I am sorry for all that I put her through.  Then, also Kim's Granny is fading fast, and this great lady brought me so much joy when I met her, she reminded my of all my Aunts, Grandmother and mother who were from an era of grace and manners.  My grand baby will soon be here and I pray the stress Kim is going through does not hurt him or her.  Then add to that, my daughter  planning to move away and my fear that I will never see her again.  I can't think, can't sleep, can't concentrate on what I need to do.  Praying for a lite at the end of this abyss of despair to help me make it through.  We all know "For this too Shall Pass", but I don't know if I can make it through.  Mother Teresa said  the she trust the Lord to only give her what she can handle, but she wished he didn't trust her so much.  This is were I am at right now.  Looking for the light. 

Waiting to Exhale

The past week has been a breath holding experience. My first grandchild is trying to make his appearance in the world a few weeks early.  The doctors are saying "Not Yet Rylee" and I am worried.  So many things can go wrong.  His mama's blood pressure is up and they have put her on medication for this.  This can cause such a serious condition that it can threaten the life of her and of Rylee.  I wish that they would go ahead an perform the c-section.  BUT, if they feel that he needs to stay inside a few more weeks, I am sure they know best.  It the thought of something happening after all this time and all Kim and Jared have been through that has me holding my breath.  She was pregnant once before with twins, but miscarried at two months. The good news is that he is very active and everything looks good on the sonogram.  Jared was so excited that he could actually see Rylee's face and hands this time. I am holding my breath until I know Rylee has taken his first one. So dear Rylee, be a good boy.  Don't overstress your mommy just yet.  I know that you will have many, many years to do that.  So relax and soon you will make your entrance and until then I am sitting here, waiting to exhale. 

Class trip today

I am off today to visit a little know spot of great history in this country.  Everyone knows the story of the pilgrams and how they came to this new world in search of freedom of religion and is credited for the first Thanksgiving.  Well today, I am off to vist the site in memory of the group to settle in the United States in search of religious freedom, Ft. Caroline, here in Jacksonville, Florida.  56 years before the Mayflower ever sailed a group of French Protestants arrive here on the coast of Florida escaping from the rebellions in France.  They were to establish the first colony, even before St. Augustine, the oldest city in the U.S.. Here they befriended the Indians and had many feasts with them. It could be said that they had the first Thanksgiving when they celebrated with the Indians.  The colony only lasted a year after the Spanish destroyed it.  For some reason, most U.S. history books overlook the south when they talk about U.S. history.  I don't know if this is because we became part of the U.S. at a much later date.  Well anyway, I am off to explore.

Starting a blog

Ok!  I am new to blogging and I thought I would give it a try.  I need to learn to better express myself and hope to learn new and exciting words.  Won't you join me in my quest for knowledge?  I would like to discover new things about me and the world that we live in.  When I was in school, I only had one goal.  I planned on marrying and having a family.  It's funny how things turn out sometimes.  I loved a guy in high school and we planned to be married.  But!  I was also a rebel, who was always looking for something exciting and new.   My boyfriend had moved to Georgia during my senior year and we still planned on getting married but after graduation, things started to change.  I discovered how fun it was to go dancing and drinking every night.  Me and my friends would go to the beach clubs like Gringos and the Fiesta.  I could dance all night.  I can tell you that the summer after graduation and up until November was the most exciting time of my life.  Not only the partying, but one of my best friends' mother was a Press Agent for Gerald Blessey who was running for congress at that time. I was attending beautician school and soon became involved with the campaign.  Soon I was spending all my time with the campaign and dropped out of school.  I had so much fun doing this and got to meet many exciting people.  Gerald introduced me to Jimmy Carter and many new and exciting people. I will never forget that day.  I was working the campaign and Jimmy was coming for a fundraiser at the Sheraton.  My duty was to answer any incoming calls that they had set up a phone line in one of the rooms for.  It was in back of the banquet room Carter was speaking in.  I had my door open, but security said they had to close it for Carter to go down the hall to the dinner.  My security had not been cleared.  Next thing I know they are putting a journalist in the room with me.  Evidently he hadn't been cleared either.  Now here I am, just turned eighteen, in a hotel room with a man I did not know.  First thing he does is plop down on the bed and starts looking for porn movies on the TV.  I totally freaked.  I opened the door and peaked out.  Carter had just been through so I was free to get out.  I hightailed it out of there as fast as I could.  I went up front to wait with the crowds for the dinner to be over.  When Gerald and Carter passed me, Gerald stopped and introduced me to him.  That was the highlight of my year.  During the campaign, I attended fish frys, after parties at the Blesseys, and even a private coctail party at Jerry Okeefes.  I thought I would be all grown up and order me a martini at the oepn bar.  The bartender said, are you sure you want one?  I said, of course I want one, trying to be all cool.  He said, well OK kind of hesitantly.  I took a big sip and about spit it all over him.  He laughed at me.  I tried to pretend that it was good, but the first chance I got I left it somewhere. I had a blast working the campagin.  After the election, which Gerald lost, I ended up one day packing my car and heading for Georgia.  Now that's another story.