The passing of the old and the birth of the new

I sit and watch the clock tick the minutes off of the clock.  With each tick another tear drops.  The mouring of a two great ladies, my aunt and my daughter-in-laws great grandmother, who are soon to leave this life, the excitement of expectation of a new life soon to be born, the leaving of a child to find a new life of her own, has left me in so much pain.  Worried about the birth, the deaths and the leaving has put me on the brink of losing control of everything. I can't think.  I can't stop crying.  My Aunt is the last of my mom's brothers and sisters, all my Aunt's and Uncles of both of my parents will soon be gone and the last of a connection directly to them.  It feels as if I am losing them all over again.  I can't stop thinking about my mom and so wish I was there when she died.  I wish I could have held her one last time and said I am sorry for all that I put her through.  Then, also Kim's Granny is fading fast, and this great lady brought me so much joy when I met her, she reminded my of all my Aunts, Grandmother and mother who were from an era of grace and manners.  My grand baby will soon be here and I pray the stress Kim is going through does not hurt him or her.  Then add to that, my daughter  planning to move away and my fear that I will never see her again.  I can't think, can't sleep, can't concentrate on what I need to do.  Praying for a lite at the end of this abyss of despair to help me make it through.  We all know "For this too Shall Pass", but I don't know if I can make it through.  Mother Teresa said  the she trust the Lord to only give her what she can handle, but she wished he didn't trust her so much.  This is were I am at right now.  Looking for the light.